You can’t grow deep roots in shallow pools. We’re plagued with shallow pools: shiny objects, quick fixes, culturally appropriated tokens, traditions, symbols, ceremony. Capitalist ‘spirituality.’ The sacred hacked up, commodified and served with a side of overpriced, environment-destroying, water-poisoning, climate change accelerating, sweat-shop made stretchy pants we label ‘yoga’ like Yoga has anything to do with it.

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Washed ashore
on the other side
of surrender
the Beloved
Is everywhere

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Rape is a four letter word. It happened to me. Based on statistics, it’s highly likely it happened to you or someone you know.  It happens to us.  Rape is a four letter word. It represents hate, violence, oppression, entitlement, victimisation.  I have a hard time saying this four letter word. Do you? It’s only four letters but it weighs so much. But I won’t let it suffocate me, crush me, or define me. Neither should you.  Silencing survivors is a deliberate – subconscious or conscious is irrelevant – knee-jerk reaction to maintaining status quo. It makes survivors victims. It makes us carry the burden.  Talk about it, if you want. Don’t talk about it, if you want. Either way it’s never your shame or burden to carry. Rape is a four letter word. It happened to me. It maybe happened to you. It is not my identity and it’s not yours..

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Love isn’t convincing someone of your worth or proving yourself. It isn’t about compliance or obligation; doing what other people want especially if it isn’t to your highest good.

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Patriarchy tells us men throughout history ‘didn’t know any better’. Their misogyny was just ‘of the time.’  What will people say of today’s male chauvinism, misogyny and male violence against women decades or centuries from now?  They just didn’t know any better?  Because we know the truth – they most certainly do.  And that being the case, maybe – probably – they knew better back then too.  Throughout the ages, men have been praised for their innovation, wisdom, genius, talent, leadership, morality, ethic. Why, then, are they absolved from the oppression of women then and now?

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You are not your selfie.

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Look, step, reach, grab.  This was the exercise. In acting school, two decades ago, the teacher set the metronome to a slow 4/4 time in the classroom.  He had us line up against the wall on one side of the room.  On the steady tick-tick beat we were instructed to first look at some imaginary thing, then take one step, then reach our hand out for this imaginary thing, grab it, then start again: look, step, reach, grab all the way to the other side of the room. It was slow. It was surprisingly difficult. We giggled nervously and blushed at our mistakes. But then focus set in. Determination set in. It was now a serious silent meditative exercise in self-mastery. Once I got good, I thought, “yes, I got it. I’ve mastered this.” But then the metronome was sped up a little bit. Then a little bit more. Each new speed had us back to zero, or near zero. No more mastery. Until there was. And then no more again, and so on. Look, step, reach, grab. It was an exercise in beginner’s mind.  An exercise in mindfulness, intention, focus, imagination, and visualisation. We could all use a little look, step, reach, grab.

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These are facts as I’ve come to know them: Ego lives in navel-gazing. The Divine lives in contemplation. Ego lives in exclusion. The Divine lives in interconnectedness. Ego thrives in lack, othering, cynicism, violence, and bullying. The Divine resonates in loving-kindness, in justice, equality and empathy.

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Be scared and do it anyway.

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The way of non-violence requires discipline.  It’s hard in a culture that normalises and even glorifies violence in all forms from the more obvious physical acts of violence down to the verbal attacks and abuses we hurl at one another.  It’s all violence because it all has the intention of doing harm.  If you’re automatic response is to match violent speech with violent speech, you need discipline.  Train yourself.  You are capable.  If you’re angry, be angry.  I understand. But be disciplined.  If you’re outraged, that’s okay.  If you’re sad, frustrated, hurt – it’s okay to feel those things.  You are human. But be disciplined.  We are at a critical juncture.  We cannot afford to lose our cool when it counts the most.  Non-violence demands your maturity emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It demands your willingness to open your heart, throw out snark and cynicism, and strive to live a life committed to peace and love for all your brothers and sisters. Not the just the ones easy to love.

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